Friday, November 06, 2015

Better Living Through Chemistry

The only way I can manage to even function as a semi-reasonable human being in situations like Blizzcon is because of alprazolam. It's the generic form of Xanax, and often even just a quarter of a pill will allow me to not have a panic attack or a total freakout when surrounded by people who can't seem to figure out where they're going and feel it's appropriate to stop at random times and places without regard to anyone else including the bloody bastards following them. Or, y'know, things like that.

Having a couple of pills in my purse means that sometimes, I don't even have to take it; just knowing it's there allows me to manage the anxiety well enough (though, I will say, not at Blizzcon; at Blizzcon I'm taking half a tab in the morning and half a tab in the afternoon and even then I have to manage my exposure pretty consciously). That said, I love to see my friends, so I'm willing to take the pills and make the effort.

On the one hand, it's a little weird that in order to have fun with my friends somewhere, I have to drug myself. But on the other hand, not having to manage the stress and fear in other, probably less-healthy ways is a real positive mark.

Plus, as an added benefit of the medicine, I'm sleeping like a fucking rock.