Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Antici...

There's a really tough part to the grind of being unemployed: the waiting.

The UI department doesn't care that it's Thanksgiving. It doesn't care that I've had a couple of phone interviews with a place, or that I'm waiting on a callback. It doesn't care that my stomach is tied up in knots and I'm having trouble sleeping.

It only cares that I've looked for work, and that I haven't yet been hired.

In a way, it's been really good training for working on issues and getting myself used to the idea of managing my time better, and good practice at applying Kanban in places other than the workplace, and how organizing myself makes things easier (significantly easier, as I get older). I have had trouble in the past with writing things down, on the belief that I could just "remember" things, despite never, ever being able to remember anything at all. I once forgot my own name. So practicing the process is good.

The set goals and determined timeline also has been great practice for getting myself to think short-term, which is something I'm often terrible with. And hard deadlines are a balm to my procrastinator soul; I frequently do most of my work in a huge rush right before a deadline, and getting broken of that habit may be one of the best things that's come out of my stint as an unemployed person.

But, even then, it's the waiting.

Being on the hook for a really interesting, really engaging job at a really cool place is awful. Because I still have hope, but I've been in this place before, and been disappointed every time (if I hadn't, I wouldn't still be unemployed). And while rejection sucks, the not knowing is often stomach-churning.

So while I'm waiting for the results to come back from my latest venture, the customer UI doesn't care. So I do the work (which right now, is hunting for more work).

Obligatory Rocky Horror Picture Show Link