Monday, February 28, 2011

Commit! Commit, damn you!

I used to joke, as recently as last month, that I knew I needed to be healthier but the choice of getting that way involved a lifestyle change to which I was not prepared to commit. I think, though, that the last trip to the ER where I was *content redacted* from my *content redacted* sealed the deal. I can't continue to live my life as if I were 25 and assume that my body will always recover from anything I put it through. I have real, chronic health problems that continue to affect my day-to-day situation, that have real, deleterious effects on my ability to function as a person. Note that it's not like I have anything serious like Crohn's Disease or Lupus or anything that many, many others that I know suffer through every day. In my case these are low-level, annoying-but-not-ultimately-fatal things like Kidneystones and Intermittent Benign Positional Vertigo and a bad back and weak knees. These are all things that with a proper diet, a good workout structure, and careful management of my time, attention, and focus. Part of it is recognizing that the foods that I eat (not even that I *like* to eat, just that I eat because I'm lazy or bored or anxious about something) are bad for me, and especially bad for my 'stone production. Part of it is recognizing that my back and knees are messed up because while I'm about right for a target weight, not enough of it is muscle and too much of it is fat in the wrong places. And part of it is recognizing that when I'm stressed I revert to behaviours that are not good for me, and finding other ways to deal with that stress.

So now I'm looking at my options. I need to find something that won't trigger my default response instantly dropping something that I'm not good at or don't like doing, and I need something that gets me out of the house and dealing with people that are not my current circle of friends (who are wonderful and supportive and awesome, but also not exactly the most health-conscious geeks out there), because I need more friends in my life and I think finding people to work out with will be a good way to in theory make more friends.

I hate my body. And it's pretty clear that my body isn't particularly fond of me at this point. So we both need to get together and do something to improve our relationship. And maybe this is the time to get it done.

Alternately, I may just buy an iPad and accept I'm going to be icky forever.